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Terrorists in Churches


by Fr Duncan McVicar on 24/07/2013

Latest news reports are that five terrorist cell groups have been operating in certain churches. Church security identifies these as Bin Sleepin, Bin Arguin, Bin Fightin, Bin Complainin, and Bin Missin. Their leader, Osama Bin Lucifer, trained these groups to destroy the Body of Christ. The plan is to come into the church disguised as Catholics and to work within the church to discourage, disrupt, and destroy the priests and the churches. A tiny cell known by the name Bin Workin is actually the only effective counter terrorism force in the church today. This group appears to be very weak. It is easy to detect because it is the only group that is active in service to Christ. Unlike the true terrorist cells, the Bin Workin team does not blend in with whoever and whatever comes along. Bin Workin visibly does whatever is needed to uplift and encourage the Body of Christ.  We have noticed that the Bin Workin cell group has different characteristics than the others. They have Bin Watchin, Bin Waitin, Bin Prayin, and Bin Longin for the Master, Jesus Christ, to return. Which cell group do you belong to? 2 Thessalonians 3:11: ”For we hear that there are some, which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.” Or Mark 13:32-3: “But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father, Take ye heed, watch and pray: For ye know not when that time is.” These same groups have been detected in other denominations. The Office of Home Church Security is coordinating its efforts with the Bin Workin group to expose the activities of the five terrorist cells now known to be active throughout many Bolton Catholic Churches. Report all sightings to proper authorities. By Father Duncan, alias Bin Readin - Edited by Marjorie Brady, alias Bin Thinkin

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It’s Only Fifty Pence


by Fr Duncan McVicar on 04/01/2012

Several years ago a priest moved to Bolton to a new Parish. Some weeks after he arrived, he had occasion to ride the bus from his home to the city area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him fifty pence too much in change. As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, you better give the fifty pence back. It would be wrong to keep it. Then he thought, “Oh, forget it, it’s only fifty pence after all. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company already gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a gift from God and keep quiet.” When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, then he handed the fifty pence piece to the driver and said, “Here, you gave me too much change.” The driver with a smile, replied, “Aren’t you the new Parish Priest that arrived recently? I have been thinking lately about going to Mass at your Church. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change.” When the priest stepped off the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest lamp pole, and held on tightly, and said to himself, “O God, I almost sold your Son for fifty pence!”

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A Friendly Community?


by Fr Duncan McVicar on 21/02/2011

PIcture of WC SignThere was a nice lady, a minister’s widow, who was a little old fashioned. She was planning a week’s vacation in California at Skylake Yosemite campground, but she wanted to make sure of the accommodation first. Uppermost in her mind were bathroom facilities, but she couldn’t bring herself to write “toilet” in a letter. After considerable deliberation, she settled on “water closet,” but when she wrote that down, it still sounded too forward, so, after the first page of her letter, she referred to toilet as “WC” “Does the cabin where I will be staying have its own ‘WC’? If not, where is the ‘WC’ located?” is what she actually wrote. The secretary of the accommodation knew that the lady was the widow of a famous Methodist minister, and was sure that it must be a question about the local Wesleyian Chapel. “Of course,” she exclaimed, “‘WC’ stands for Wesleyian Chapel.’ ” And he sat down and wrote: (more…)